The Art of the Kenyan SMS

Actual text messages:

Hi john, i was in the same matatu as u were going makongeni en i got ur number.b careful en folow the law if u wana b a kenyan citizen don just trust strangers
-a stranger i met on a 10-minute matatu ride

John Boys 2 men how is your day hope fine We reached well and hope you to Hope to see you soon bye
-one of the boys from camp

hi jonny i know this is a day worth precious for u, i wish u a happy birth day and may live to be a grandfather-kamande
-birthday wishes from kamande

Hi, is that the white guy from Gatanga?
-a crazy girl somewhere near my village

JONNY: william-boys-2-men .h/s y'r day? missing "u" BIG! HOPE 2 C YAH SOON IN SCH 'CH OPENS 2_MORO.
-william, one of the boys from camp

Happiness are those who think abaut the athers.jonny thenx 4 your suppot be blessed again and again our love came from God enjoy your day u and your parent
-Benson

Hi jonny, it ws kind of u 4 tht respect 4 me 2 mit ur family.wud u wish thm a safe journy back hom 4 me?just a favour frm ur siz if u dnt mind men,U knw mit'g new frends its ma hobie! just mail adress frm her,she's so educatd,ad plz tel tht small girl 2 tak care of her beauty.thanks man.see u on wkd.cheers
-Mike, a football player for Thika United

Hi, Jonny it have been long since i heard frm u .u make my day when i remember how changed my life thro your teaching.i have missed 2 hear frm u .say hi 2 liza.frm Joseph (Boyz2men) pleace reply via same number.
-Joseph, one of the boys from camp

Whas up men? long time no holla but no hard feelings. ave been dem f*^ing busy but jes hustling. anyway miss u big time n i really treasure that time we used to b together doing da stuff like stones lifting n da like. i wish u all da best n just know u r such a gee to me. due respect men n thanks.
-I have no idea who this is